Flirting is lame.

Flirting is lame.

 

Well, let me preface this by saying I'm lame at flirting.  Like...bad.  Don't get me wrong.  I get hit on, but reciprocating is hilarious.  Or, even better, my friends will tell me when I'm being hit on because I have no clue.  Someone checks me out, I think I have spinach in my teeth or I've spilled something.  The way I grew up makes me quite the lovable socially awkward person I am.

 

I've never been the girl who scored free drinks by flirting with the bartender.  Not for a lack of effort, but for a massive lack of talent. Watching women successfully flirt is incredible.  They sashay up, push up their boobs, bat their eyes, and Voila!  Here's what I do: Attempt to sashay up, fall because I'm concentrating too hard to walk correctly in heels, a boob pops out, I burp, a drink is spilled on me...any one of these things has occurred.  Perhaps that's my charm.  I'm the female version of Mr. Magoo.  Blind as a bat, but at least I laugh like hell at myself. :)  I can't say though I am really doing anything to meet people.  I'm sort of a hermit.  I don't mind bars, but think they're too loud.  I hate clubbing because I dance like I'm stuck in a 1985 time-loop.  I refuse to ever do internet dating because I'm not really that interested in dating.  I'm interested in meeting people and I hear plenty of horror stories regarding internet sites.  Last thing I need is to show up to a coffee house and meet the latest version of Ted Bundy or Aileen Wuornos. 

 

Granted, I could knock the socks off of anyone if flirting involved any of the following:

 

1) Star Trek

2) Family Guy

3) Books...anything really (except Twilight novels)

4) My vast knowledge of all things related to subpoenas

5) Make-up (this tends to limit my audience)

6) ASL

7) Religion (I think religion is fascinating)

8) Music

9) etc...

 

I could go on and on with the nerdy things I love and are near and dear to my heart.  But, my blog is getting long and my attention span short. 

 

Here's a picture. An actual product.